Sunday, February 21, 2010

Friendship and technology 2/20

When a subject is repeated numerous times coming into my site regarding friendship...I like to take a step back and ponder- So here I go. I've just finished reading an e mail from a woman who shared a story quite similar to several other women in the last month or so.  And this is NEW guys.  Here it is.

 A girlfriend asks another girlfriend to meet for some Friday night fun, bring the kids they'll do a movie and the BF's will hang out and catch up.  BF #2says sure!  Then a day before the Friday night BF #2 calls and says, Oh god I'm so sorry sorry the kids are coughing with runny noses.  BF #1 says, ok, forget it I dont want to get my kids and family sick too bad maybe  we can do it another time.

AHHHHHHHHH  but BF#1 the following morning sees a tweet written by BF #2 that says something in the area of "Malibu is gorgeous on a Friday noght- kids enjoyed the sunset playing on the beach, while grown ups coctailed at Galdstones, what a lovely evening thanks All."
So here we have it -----modern tchnology getting in the way of white lieing, and backing out of plans. How in the world did she not think her friend would see the tweet?  This social newtorking techonology is making a huge impact on relationships, what to do???  What do ya'll think?  Write into and share in theounge please!

Friday, February 19, 2010



I went hiking know that means?  I live in LA and if you're any kind of a reasonally intelligent person it is your respnsibility to take advantage of the amazing hills and mountains that sit so near...or not! And how often do I do this appealing great sounding activity?  Close to never.  But an old High school buddy wanted to meet and dish me on the reunion that I of course didnt attend.  Let me tell you, everyone should do a hike in the morning...there was a deep incline at the onset... for a second I was thinking ok this is not gonna work, it hurts....but after that it was totally do-able.  So here's the sell- when will I do it again?  I dont know, but the endorphines that set in after a good hike lead one to believe that this is something to be done on a daily basis.  What could possiblly be better than getting your fat or skinny ass onto a canyon hike with someone you love hanging with but can't find the time to see,,,and while your heart is pumping you can  chat away.  Doesnt get better I dont think.  And forget the view up there--- on most days, you get that freaky Hallmark feeling of "wow what a beactiful place this is to live", that is if you decide to ignore the orange layer of smog that can freak you out once you realize thats what it is on the horizon.  Anway- the good news is.....for a fleeting moment at the beginning of my day, everything felt just about perfect...Maybe this  is what we all need, not for gossip, not for vamity but for good pure old fashioned good life-ness.  And one day when I become that crunchy LA organized woman who begins every blog entry with, I've just returned from my morning hike you can laugh and then shoot me.   

Monday, October 12, 2009

Good of the day to all.
I have a lot of inquiries coming in on the subject of being a divorced mom...yep thats me now.  Does single and divorced mean the same thing?  I have no idea what my label is and its confusing to me.  Here's what I know, everything about divorce is better for my life except maintenance, Christmas lights and gutter cleaning.  Other than those 3 things- life is smooth and easy, even with 3 kids.  We run like a well oiled engine with a few suptters here and there.

The single part of it?  I dont pay much attention. I have my nose to the grindstone gotta feed kids, clean house, help with homework, attend soccer tennis and football games, make meals, plunge toilets... if I have time to wash my hair these days I'm lucky.   Sounds sexy doesnt it? Far as dating which I think is what everyone really wants to know.  I'm not an on-liner, not that I'm too cool, I just spend a lot of time writing women from the site, keeping up the blog, writing parenting articles and books, so meeting a prince that way does not appeal to me at the moment. 

I think the key might be---- keeping ourselves and our lives open and everchanging.  Putting ourselves out there when we wouldnt normally.  For me this means going into the bank instead of paying bills and transferring money on line, or saying yes to an occasional party invite.  I am the worst closet anti social and no one really knows it, except my ex. 

My idea of good life, is staying focused on whats at hand, and knowing somewhere in there, life with throw us a bone.  I can't fixate on the single thing.  Somewhere in me I know that one day there will be some wonderful guy I meet, and when it happens I will know. Thats where I am on the whole thing.  When my thoughts change about this I will let everyone know. 

Bottom line, stay true to you, whatever and however that may look.  Who cares what people say and think just keep hold of what you think!

Luck in love to all.

Friday, September 18, 2009

I'm back

So what's a year off of blogging?  It's been that long, but I'm back-

Don't know what it is lately, but a lot of women have been writing into my site and saying that their husbnads and or boyfriends invade their privacy on a regular basis.  In other words, behind their backs they look at their e mials,  check their cell phones follow them on twitter, and read their credit card bills. 

I received a profound mail recently from  a woman who shared with me the reality of her long term marriage.  She wrote that she'd never sought advice before and found the prospect of asking me ,encouraging for a number of reasons. beginning with the idea that  I don't know her.  I could quite possibly listen to her life with an objective opinion, and because she was so anxious for direction, she stated she was going to be as candid and honest as possible.  After hearing the quick run down on her decades long marriage, she finds herself completely unstimulated in every way by her husband.  The same, boring, drab, uneventful life day after day, in fact she shared that in order to actually enjoy sex with her husband it was necessary for her to have at least 2 glasses of wine.   After a good amount of description,  her question to me was, did I think she should get divorced? Or,  did I think, her marriage had lasted too long for her to get divorced. 

Herers the shocker.  The following day I saw her name on my site mail again, I opened it up and she'd written the next morning informing me she'd forgotten to mention what a crazy stalker privacy invader her husband was.  So much so, that she was awoken at 3 am by her husband that night asking her why in the world she was writing some woman for advice on their marriage.  He'd read my advice back before she.  I have to say I was flabberghasted.  Her second e mail came form a different address, and she claimed he would probally have the password to that one as well.  Help!  was her last line.

This has never happened before, not that I am aware of, and as often as I do hear women saying their husbands, boyfriend' seem to want to track their every move, this particular one blew me away.

Where is the line, and what really does it mean when a man or for that matter a woman becomes so insecure and unsure of things it leads them down this destructive road. No matter how  you spin it, the road, this possessive ugly tiresome road of doubt and insecurity.  What does it take to being a person to behave this way and what do we think about it?

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Real life/movies

Well-Hola all
Again I am horrible at the keeping up with the blog thing, but so many women have written wondering why I don't post...I'm posting. I'm so much better at answering the website e mails!!!

Speaking of the mails coming into the site, I have to say I have been INUNDATED with comments and questions on the topic of the movie Sex In The City. I don't even know where to begin. I might begin by saying I have so much to say on this topic check web site for release of an article in fabulous women's magazine soon to be announced.

Okay so how many women over the age of 11 have four friends with whom they speak daily, dine weekly and can jaunt off to Mexico on a half days notice??? Sex In The City is a movie, created by entertainment geniuses, promoted by advertising gurus and acted in by fabulous actresses. Last I personally checked my four closest tribal members, my four nearest and dearest...barely really know each other. Yes I have three or four but they are not connected to one another, the only occasional link is me!

After dozens of inquiries into the site I decided to check this out a little further, the way I do. And here's the news flash-----please don't feel lesser than, or loser-ish, or deprived when you look at the reality that you don't have the bosom buddies you saw depicted in the movie. If it makes you feel any better, which it will, VERY few women over the age of 18 have the glory of 4 enmeshed girlfriends --- who continue to stay daily ingrained in every day life for decades at a time. See real life is at best, closer to the Lucy and Ethel depiction. Now there is something most of us can relate to. comedy/tragedy of every day life. Faults, flaws, mistakes, fights, paranoia's...Lucy and Ethel are more my real speed, and more the speed of most American women.

Regardless I find it utterly fantastic that so much attention be given to the idea of female any way we can get it, we'll take it. This movie was a blockbuster hit, and how it affects women according to my site is interesting to say the least. Some are inspired to find a group, yen for that bond. Others are quietly inspired to put more efforts into their existing friendships, and then some are depressed and distraught by the overwhelming reality that their female friendships are so very far from this fashion, lavished romanticized idea of female friendship.

I say this, what matters only is the richness you feel in your life from the friends with whom you are blessed. How many, who, when where and what you have on matters little. So pick yourself up give yourself a reality slap and know that your view of your life is the only one that matters.
And give a quiet toast to society for recognizing on any level the import and impact that our friends have on our lives.

I know I'll be hearing something from this post!!!


Thursday, December 20, 2007


Hi all, and my apologies for letting the blogging on this great topic fall to the wayside. When it rains in life it sometimes pours, and I have been very very busy with the rain. The new year will bring far more of a commitment to venting and informing.
I have received tons of stories lately, and interestingly everyone sounds a bit more forgiving than usual-Could it be the holiday season? I should look back at the website submissions and see, if this is in fact the case. So for now I will say this. Friendship and friendship ending is never in or out of season, both are just a part of life.

Merry Merry and Happy new year-

Keep the stories coming-

Wednesday, July 18, 2007


I feel like I have been so out of touch---------- So here I am, just finished proposal for book 2 the follow-up, entitled for the moment, WHAT DO WE DO NOW? Thanks to all of you and your amazing stories, I've been able to piece together a sort of blue-print for us. Answers from real life stories and experiences seemed impossible to pass up, I owe it to all of us and to the honor and regard of friendship to put write, what I learned. Hopefully all of you will be able to gain advice and direction through these important waters in our lives...our friendships. I will soon be posting the publishing date, and what to expect in the future in terms of speaking, signing, etc...

I hope all of you are enjoying the summer, we are HOT here in LA but loving it!!